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The 10 LAKER HATER COMMANDMENTS!

1. Thou shall back ANY team that opposes the Lakers!

2. Thou shall dickride ONLY the major players and not the TEAM going against anybody vs Father Phil, Brother Kobe, Brother Pau, Brother Fish, Brother Lamar, Brother Ron, Brother Brown, Brother Fahrmar, Brother Luke, and Sister Sasha!

3. Thou shall not remain faithful to the Lakers or another team. Faith shall not be tolerated as you will switch many different jerseys in a lifetime with exception to the CLIPPERS!

4. Thou shall not pay attention to the game until the last 4 minutes of the 4th quarter!

5. Thou shall walk the streets of LA professing your love to hate and FEARING the BITE of the BLACK MAMBA!

6. Thou shall OPPOSE Brother Kobe by chanting M-V-P! M-V-P! M-V-P! M-V-P!

7. Thou shall observe the sabbath day February 20th, the birth of Charles Barkley!

8. Thou shall blend with the crowd of the opposing team, acting like you know SHIT about the team!

9. Thou shall chant BEAT LA! BEAT LA! BEAT LA! Because you are NOT from LA.

10. Thou shall SHUT THE FUCK UP after the Lakers take the CHAMPIONSHIP!

Attention Whoring on Facebook

As with everybody on Facebook, I felt compelled to utilize the filtering function for my news feeds. We have those friends that constantly post on a feed about how great their farm is, what celebrity they are similar to, etc. When you work on a desk, Facebook, as do many other gossip sites out there provide that moment of distraction from the stresses of number crunching and whichever research you have to do in front of that computer monitor assigned to you. The news feed is just about the most convenient way to keep in touch with your friends without being there with them. It interests me what people feel at the moment as they express it in the status, yet it annoys the fuck out of me when I have to sift through filler news feeds, crap like spam from social network newbies trying out a new app.

At least with Facebook there is a way to block apps from spamming on your news feeds. There have been however multiple instances where people say offensive things, maybe cracks about my favorite sports teams, a right winged political statement, or a statement about a celebrity I hold dear. Luckily Facebook also have a way to filter out status updates from specific people. Predictably I already filter out specific people on my news feeds. It's certainly a lot better and less malicious than deleting friends or your own Facebook. Surprisingly though, I don't filter my conservative friends, or my Laker hater friends because there's one specific type of Facebooker I can't stand at all - the middle aged attention whoring teeny bopper.

Now who is this middle aged attention whoring teeny bopper? (S)he is the one who constantly updates her (or his) status almost every hour trying to fish for comments. The status updates consist of vague 3-4 word statuses that pertains to a specific individual (s)he tries to get attention from to whole whiny depressing narratives about how down or trapped (s)he feels and the only cure for it are encouraging comments from the Facebook world. I can understand a need to vent but it gets rather annoying when it becomes a regular post pattern. On a site like Facebook I like to hear what's going on with people for the sake of keeping in touch, and I like to stimulate my mind and get challenged intellectually. Posts from middle aged attention whoring teeny boppers does none of the latter and whenever I read such status updates from the same person, it's about time to filter out their stupid ranting without hurting their feelings.

It is forgivable for teens and extremely young adults to succumb to this online behavior. I will be the first to admit to committing the same foolishness back in the Myspace and Friendster days. Being an attention whore truly is adolescent and I jokingly admit to it on my info. However as one hits their late 20s to possibly their mid 30s, the attention whoring should be outgrown. If one happens to see somebody at work or in public acting like a blatant attention whore (bars and clubs exempted), one would think that person looks very pathetic and is in need of therapy. I don't expect such behavior from my Facebook friends when I see them in person, but it becomes a nuisance when I take my 5-10 minute Facebook break from work only to be wasted on people who litter insincere and pathetic status updates on my news feed. Seriously, you're an adult now. Act like it, even if you're logged in.

If you happen to be on my friend's list shilling comments, chances are you have already been filtered off my news feed. I no longer waste a second trying to figure out who the fuck you're talking about. If you want to get help or vent, find a friend and call or IM a friend that actually cares - you can benefit from the personal exchange rather than tossing it out there hoping someone will make you feel better in 1 to 2 comments. Facebook, as well as all the other social networking sites are a public domain, key word PUBLIC. Treat it as if you're at a party full of us friends. Don't be the party pooper who kills the mood because you want to hog all the attention in the room. We'll end up distancing ourselves from you as if you cut a fart and we know it was you.