Trolling Out The Unwanted Friend Requests pt. 1

Since the dawn of time also known as Friendster, we had what CNN called "The Friend Padder," someone who adds anyone and everyone just to show off their 1,000 or so friends. These wannabe celebrities are the downside of our generation's social networking simply because most of us normally use these sites to keep in touch with friends. When someone requests me, I look at the mutual friends we have. I also look at the networks this person is part of. If there are no mutual friends or networks that I'm familiar with, I actually do try to remember if the name rings a bell, as in the case of a classmate from the past who I recently added (wuddup Desiree!).

Anyways, I was bitching about 37 friend requests (now 36) from people I don't know. There's obviously the spammers and webcam ladies, but facebook does a good job filtering them out. The rest are simply "normal" people from around the world. A lot of them have a ridiculous number of friends, and there are those who have a normal amount. Now personally, I'm not tooting my own horn but I am a pretty young looking guy. Nobody could tell my height from my profile picture. I look good, I look cool, but worth sending me a request? COME ON!

Part of my gripe about these requests is that the ones who request hopes I'll add automatically. Call me old school, but if you wanna be part of my circle, I have to GET TO KNOW YOU. Since this is an online social network, I have to MEET YOU. And then I grant a request. Am I being to snobbish about this, that I require a sense of interaction before deciding to add?

Now with this aside, if anybody wants to add someone, it would be nice to message that person first. None of these 36 friend requests sent a message to me. WTF. No "hey I met you somewhere, etc, etc" or "I don't know you, but you seem cool. Lets ." Maybe it's not the "cool" or "chic" thing to do, but hey, I'm 29, I'm getting old, and I want to interact with people I know, or people I know that could stimulate my mind with conversation, or people that want to hook me up with a good paying job during these catastrophic times (word to LinkedIn). As a non celebrity, I truly don't have a point in having a thousand friends that I don't know in addition to the friends (and acquaintances) I know already.

With my venting aside, I'm going to extend a hand to these requests and actually message them with the following:

Hello. I do not think we ever met in person, so do I know you? And if I do not know you why are you interested in adding me? Thanks.

The next blog will have my responses, if there are any.

Shit That I Can’t Quite Do Online Anymore As I Near the Age of 30

• Can’t talk street. Saying “yo” at the end of a sentence, or “izzl-ing” every 2nd or 3rd word. Even if I happen to talk like that in person, putting my face with those sentences online is not really cool anymore.

• Telling the whole word how intoxicated I am, especially if the substances causing the intoxication are still illegal.

• Engage in random rants with someone else. I am always open for a debate and discussion, but the minute it turns into name calling and personal attacks (calling someone, but not limited to “Gay” or “Douche”) in uppercase letters, I’ll have to slowly turn away and accept the win quietly. Verbal jousts will have to require a well placed argument from now on.

• Quizzes. I admit I do love quizzes, but I should at least know who the fuck I am through my experiences as I get older, and it’s not the end of the world if I scored as Johnny Drama in an Entourage quiz.

• Posting unnecessary pictures of myself. There’s no need for new profile pictures unless I get a haircut. Chugging a drink or a taking bonghits are not exactly cool if the wrong people see it. Taking pictures with beautiful chicks that I barely know in a simulated sexual position does not make me a Casanova (or Ron Jeremy for that matter).

• Crazy photoshopped pictures of myself. I’m not quite the photoshop wizard I was back in 2003. Unless it was for a portfolio or it was actually published in an actual publication, it is only a matter time till my face on someone else’s body is deemed not funny anymore.

• Brag about a project that is not at least 80% finished.

• Uncreative surveys. They seem to only be useful for dating sites like eharmony and true.

• Making oneself crazy private to the world to a point where no one could add. I came to the realization that I am not a celebrity and if I want my life to be any more private, why do I have a Facebook/Myspace/Twitter account? How about I just don’t reveal anything on my profile, and not add seedy people in my past that request me?

• Making drama public. It’s only my profile, not my reality show or novella.

My Life According to Kanye

Using only SONG names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to at least 15 people and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick your Artist:
Kanye West

Are you a male or female?
Ego Remix

Describe yourself:
Paranoid

How do you feel:
Heard 'Em Say

Describe where you currently live:
Homecoming

If you could go anywhere where would you go?
Good Life

Your favorite form of transportation:
Drive Slow

Your best friend is:
Champion

What's the weather like:
Coldest Winter

Favorite time of day:
Good Morning

If your life was a TV show, it would be called:
Everything I Am

What is life to you:
Stronger

Your fear:
Welcome to Heartbreak

What is the best advice you have to give:
I Wonder

Thought for the Day:
Good Night

How I would like to die:
Through the Wire

My soul's present condition:
Street Lights

My motto:
Can't Tell Me Nothing